“I see you,” were spoken words between Jake and Neytiri during moments of closeness in the movie Avatar. The phrase symbolized feelings of connection and intimacy. In our busy,demanding world full of tasks, deadlines, and an abundance of “to do lists” it is challenging and almost impossible and at a minimum a daunting, overwhelming aspiration to “see” one another. Ironically, it is when we take the time to see one another that the level of our perceived stress can be significantly reduced. It is when we can “see” another human being that the pain of busyness can lose its chronic grasp upon our life. When we can see someone without judgment or conditions along with acceptance and compassion, when we can see the wonder and beauty along with the flaws and foibles, we are enabled to take abreath of self-compassion.
Martin Buber, a Jewish theologian, described the importance of viewing relationships from an I-Thou perspective. It is an authentic, genuine, and transparent I that sees the sacred Thou in you. The Jesuit priest Henri Nouwen purported, “It is the Christ within me that enables me to see the Christ in you.” Also, Namaste, a Sanskrit word used in the Hindu and Yogic traditions when spoken to another person means “The Divine within me bows to the same Divine within you.”
Those of us who are frequent flyers with our inner critic may notice on occasion that people who “see” us see the positive within us that we are unable to see yet if the stars align just right, their sight gives us light to see what they see. Also, when we “see” another human being we may begin to discover a sense of relatedness. The life within them is within us each uniquely expressed.
What does this have to do with wellness? In a word-everything.There is the abundance of supported and documented researchabout the nurturing and curative power of being in community with other people most especially with those who “see” us. Yet, in a deeper sense there is the transforming power of self-compassion and self-love. Self-compassion involves not being so hard on ourself and forgiving ourself when we make mistakes and live less than our best. Self-love opens our eyes to the importance of self-care- doing loving and caring actions to ourself while avoiding behaviors that are unhealthy.
Next time I am out I am going to take a look and “see.”Consider doing the same. It just might be eye opening.
