I grew up at West Fullerton Primitive Baptist church in Fullerton, CA. Brother Les Fletcher was our pastor. As I was the youngest in my family my mom made sure all of us kids went to church except for Wayne, my oldest brother. I have no memory of ever seeing him in church. Worship at my church in the 1960’s was the traditional hymns from our hymnals in the pews. I’ll Fly Away, Amazing Grace, Holy, Holy, Holy, The Old Rugged Cross, What A Friend, In The Garden, and Joy Unspeakable are some I can remember and Michelle does too. We always sang the 1st, second and fourth verses. Not sure why we skipped the third.
As a young man in my mid 30’s I changed over to the Non-denominational church. Here I found the worship service had the songs I was singing with on the radio in my car. Artists like Amy Grant, Keith Green, Hillsong, NewSong, Michael W. Smith, and Steven Curtis Chapman were very popular with awesome praise and worshipful music and lyrics. I still love those today.
The church I worship in today is mostly back to my childhood days using the Hymnals in the pews. Lately I have been struggling with my worship in church but growing in my worship in my car using YouTube videos played on my car speakers of contemporary worship songs. But when I come to church it tends to bring me down into a form of depression when we sing those old hymns. Through my wife and some loving Christian brothers and sisters in Christ I am discovering worship to God is not a self-centered emotional feeling but an offering of adoration to God and an expression of my love and devotion to God. I have made it about me instead of Jesus. My focus has been on what I like instead of what God desires from me.
OUCH!!!!! I have really been awakened to the fact that worship is a deep reverence to our Heavenly Father, The Creator of the Universe. It is not done to entertain me. It is not done to satisfy my personal wants, needs or my desires. I need to get out of my own way so I can divinely worship God from my heart and soul into His. It must always be God focused and not worshiper focused.
As believers we must be very careful with our concert style worship with flashing lights, smoke-filled stages, torn jeans, flip flop shoes, and yes even the use of laser lighting to create a mood that attracts the young at heart. Worship cannot be about us and what we want it to be. It is not sound, style or mood. It is not about a cool buzz feeling from the band vibes.
My pride and my selfish preferences of songs and music selection was getting in the way of my true worship to my God. As the song so beautifully says, “I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you, it’s all about you, Jesus. I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it when it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.” May that be your prayer also.
Jim Everett
