Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
Between February 2018 and March 2019, I lost a foster sister, my mother, and my best friend of over 40 years and two of my children lost their Father.
Those 13 months were filled with highs and lows, shock, utter despair, and a sense of not knowing what would happen next.
I have always been the glass-half-empty kind of girl who spent her time watching and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
For me, anxiety has ruled my life; at least, that was how it had been until I met Jesus.
I used to believe I was the one who found Him, but the truth is, He was the One who came looking for me.
I stood firm by my children when they had to say goodbye to their dad, and I even was able to block out the pain of seeing my foster sister, who was my hero as a young teenager, being eaten away by cancer. I still marvel at how I could stand beside my mother singing Amazing Grace and whispering words of assurance in her ear as she slowly left this world. But, when my best friend left me, I hit the floor on my knees.
I looked around me, and it seemed all the ones who knew me best and had loved me best were suddenly gone.
I realized, rather quickly, that I would not have them to run to anymore when life got hard. I would not be able to pick up the phone and share my day with them any longer.
The presence of God was strong during this time in my life.
I had not invited Him to be there; after all, I was hurting, and I wanted to be in my pain.
Once I came to my senses, I realized His presence still had not left me, not even for a moment.
I recall asking Him whom I would go to now for comfort—what a dumb question.
Aren’t you glad God has patience with us?
I can imagine Him looking at me and saying, “Hey, what am I, chopped liver?”
He made me before the world was formed by His Word (Ephesians 1:4).
He knitted me in my mother’s womb. The mother I had just said goodbye to (Psalm 139:13).
He is my best friend who sticks closer to me than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).
And, He even has my kid’s best interest at heart since He is the Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).
Looking back on those terrible 13 months of my life, I learned more about Who God is than I had probably ever learned before. In hindsight, it was like taking an accelerated class in college. It was a painful time, but it was also a sweet time.
Knowing that I did not have to hunt Him down because He was right there the whole time taught me that He is my comforter, just like His Word says (2 Corinthians 1:3).
I lost a lot that year, but I gained even more through the closeness of Him.
I do not ever want to experience such tremendous loss in such a short amount of time again, but if I do, I will know where to draw my strength, hope, joy, peace, and comfort.
And now, hopefully, so will you.
